Philosophy of Childhood
Childhood should provide all tiny humans with the essential skills for excelling and succeeding in life. It is vital that these children receive appropriate feedback from their parents and teachers, as the feedback that they receive will greatly influence who they will become. In her poem Children Learn What They Live, Dorothy Law Nolte adequately describes the importance of those appropriate responses to childhood behavior:
“If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.”
Given these parameters, I have chosen three specific tenets that are key to a successful childhood. First and foremost, it is essential that children be socialized as early as possible, thereby allowing the formation of relationships and the capability to build social skills. Also, childhood should equip all children with the necessary tools for a healthy lifestyle, including physical, mental, and spiritual health. Lastly, childhood should not hinder the child’s ability to have positive self-esteem, as well as a positive outlook on life. Thus, in order to promote positive self-esteem amongst the children, positive reinforcement is crucial throughout childhood (as seen in Nolte’s poem).
Socialization is a process that guides the development of our social personalities. Because socialization is a process, there is a beginning and an end; socialization begins when the child is capable of understanding the meaning of the word “no.” Thus, discipline and limits are key components to proper socialization. Without discipline, a child will become out of control and lack ambition. Socialization is important for a magnitude of reasons, including its capability of validating ones existence both as an individual, as well as part of a larger group. Also, socialization allows children to formulate the proper social skills, which further market the child so that they may become part of a larger, more significant group. Lastly, socialization allows children to form attachments, or emotional bonds, to significant people. Without attachments, children will feel isolated from their environment and surrounding people.
As aforementioned, children should be socialized as early as possible, in order to form these necessary behavioral traits, relationships and proper social skills. Psychologists label “early childhood” as the “pregame age,” meaning children will play with whoever is willing. Thus, childhood is characteristic of playing and socializing with friends. To socialize children, I recommend them interacting with kids their age (either through schooling or play groups), as well as allow them to play with persons older than themselves (including siblings, teachers, parents, etc...) Furthermore, children should be exposed to a variety of experiences in their childhood, as these experiences help to build their character and further formulate their personalities.
Childhood should also provide all children with the proper tools in which to live a healthy lifestyle. Health, including physical, mental, and spiritual health, is a vital component to the existence of life, and learning how to keep one’s self healthy is an invaluable keepsake. Especially with childhood obesity on the rise, I feel that it is very important to teach children of the importance of a proper, healthy lifestyle. By teaching the children at a young age, and continuing to teach them throughout childhood, I hope that these skills and guidelines will be ingrained in their minds so that they will continue to make healthy lifestyle choices. I use the term “teach” broadly in this ideal; teaching these lifestyle choices should start with the parents, who also practice these healthy choices. Because childhood is also an “imitation age,” children will imitate their parents in their own lifestyle choices. Thus, parents are encouraged to exercise, eat healthy, and have a healthy spiritual life.
Since childhood ranges from the ages of three and eleven, different “levels” of subject matter should be taught at the appropriate age group. For instance, at age three, children should be taught that it is important to get physical exercise, eat healthy, and pray to God. At this level, children will be able to comprehend the basics, and it is unnecessary to delve farther into the specifics. Once they are capable of learning more, the children should be taught how to exercise properly, what to eat for a nutritious meal, and what spiritual health means. Unfortunately, sexual occurrences are prevalent among young ages, and thus it is important that children learn, as early as appropriate, that sexual health (abstinence, safe sex, etc...) are also key to a healthy lifestyle. By instilling the proper skills to maintain a healthy lifestyle, it is hopeful that these children will continue these routines into their adult lives, thereby eliminating such harmful disease associated with an improper diet, lack of exercise, and overall unhealthy lifestyle.
Lastly, childhood should not hinder the child’s ability to have positive self-esteem, as well as it should provide the child with a positive perspective on life and the future. In order to have positive self-esteem, it is essential that the child be properly socialized (thereby gaining validation for himself), as well as the child should experience positive reinforcement constantly (in conjunction with proper discipline). The definition of proper reinforcement is best described in Nolte’s poem (see above). In her poem, Nolte explains the consequences of both proper and improper reinforcement on children: if you constantly criticize children, they will learn to condemn both themselves and others; if children are subject to a hostile environment, they will learn to fight as a means to cope; if children are constantly ridiculed, they will become shy. On the contrary, if children are encouraged, then they will have confidence; if children live with tolerance, praise, and acceptance, then they will have patience, appreciation, and love; if children live with approval, then they will like themselves as an individual. Lastly, and arguably most importantly, if children live with security and friendliness, then they will have faith in themselves (including ambition and self-esteem) and they will have a positive outlook on their life and future.
Having positive self-esteem, ambition, and an optimistic perspective on the future are key foundations to character, and these three attributes are attained through proper, positive reinforcement (either from the parent, teacher, or peer). Thus, parents and teachers should allow all children to consistently experience encouragement, tolerance, praise, acceptance, approval, recognition, sharing, honesty, fairness, kindness, consideration, security, and friendliness. If a child consistently experiences these ideals, then it is promising that he will grow to have positive self-esteem, ambition, and an optimistic perspective for his life and future.
Childhood is a time of tremendous growth, self-awareness, and identity in a person’s life, and is the most important period in one’s life, as it shapes their personality, behavior, and being. Since it is such an influential lifespan, childhood should provide specific processes, ideas, and attributes that are essential for the development of a socialized, healthy, and ambitious human being. If children, the tiny humans of life, are socialized early and properly, given the tools to build a healthy lifestyle, and reinforced positively and appropriately throughout childhood, then it is optimistic that the children will grow to have outstanding behavior and a magnificent personality. Childhood is extremely important, and it is a lifespan that occurs once. Thus, it is important that we, the parents and teachers, make every child’s childhood an exceptional experience that allows them to grow into the wonderful people that they are all capable of being.